New Horizons Divorce Coaching

~Don't just GO through it, GROW through it

Going through a divorce is stressful. It can feel like you will never get through it or be happy again. You are not alone – hundreds of people feel like this but you can get through it and, with my help, grow stronger and more confident and discover how to make the next chapter of your life more exciting and fulfilling.

Support and advice through the divorce process.

I can help you to prepare for legal consultations so that they take less time and cost less. Many solicitors tell me that their clients use them as a shoulder to cry on and it's an expensive shoulder. I can be that shoulder for less money and I'm trained to listen effectively, help you to deal with your emotions and come up with solutions that are right for you.

I won't tell you what you should do or give you unwanted advice. Everyone is different and the solutions to your problems are not the same as anyone else's. You are unique.

I will help you stay calm, rational and focussed through your divorce. 

I will work with you to help clarify what you want from the divorce. You may not get everything you want and you need to be aware of that. Equally you need to be clear about your long-term objectives. Being aware of the things that, eighteen months or five years down the road are going to be important, will enable you to keep perspective and a sense of priority. 

I will encourage you to consider what you really want for the future.

It is important to communicate well with your ex. I will give you tools to help you keep calm, manage your emotions and resolve disputes. 

Think about how, looking back on the divorce in years to come, you would like the process to have been. 

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Collaborative Law

Choosing a Solicitor

Mediation

"You should never regret what you've done, only what you haven't done" Quentin Crisp

"Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”

Anon

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

Eleanor Roosevelt

"If you can dream it, you can do it"

Walt Disney

“It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be?”

Marianne Williamson

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves"

Shakespeare

“A Coaching relationship is like no other, simply because of its combination of objective detachment and commitment to the goals of the individual.”

Julie Starr

I can teach you how to feel good about yourself again and help you to explore all the options open to you.

Together we'll deal with the negative emotions you're feeling and replace them with positive ones. We'll explore the doubts and worries you have and help you to overcome them.

Then we'll look at how you would like to live the next chapter of your life and formulate an action plan to get you there.

Many of the people I work with discover new passions or rekindle old ambitions. They find they have made compromises and divorce gives them a chance to make some changes and build a more fulfilling life.

Confidence and Self-Esteem.

Rebuilding Confidence and Self-Esteem is the key to redesigning your life. Once you feel good about yourself you will not need others to support you, you will be able to take responsibility for your own happiness and other people will enhance your life but you won't rely on them for happiness. Have you ever noticed how confident people attract attention? They seem to draw people to them even when they are not necessarily the most (conventionally) attractive person in the room. One of the things that is attractive about them is that they are comfortable with themselves. I will help you to increase your confidence and self-esteem.

Positive thinking. 

A positive mental attitude is extremely important when recovering from a divorce. 

We have thousands of thoughts every day, most of them are negative – learn to be aware of your thoughts and ‘pull yourself up' when you catch yourself thinking negatively. Keep challenging your ‘inner critic'.

Check your feelings regularly and banish negative thoughts. Where focus goes, energy flows. Focus on what you do want, not what you don't want.

Count your blessings - be grateful for what you have. List at least 6 positive things that have happened during the day before you go to sleep at night (a piece of work well done, a beautiful flower, a bird singing, a lovely sunset, something someone said, a new piece of knowledge, a delicious meal).

Negative Emotions & Limiting Beliefs

I will help you to identify beliefs that could be holding you back by noticing the language patterns you use. Once they have been identified we can work together to change them. 

Work through your negative emotions – it is natural to be angry at first. It is almost a grieving process, although your partner might not be dead he/she has gone and it will take time to adjust. However, don't hang on to those feelings of anger and bitterness – let them go. Keeping a journal can be a good way of releasing your anger.

Clarify your Goals

Everyone should have goals in life - without goals we have no direction. I will help you to define and achieve your goals. I will also help you to realise your full potential and to look at problems from a different perspective by asking challenging questions.

Focus

Once you have Goals you can focus on how to get what you want. It is amazing what you can achieve when you are focussed. When you have decided what you want and have set you goals I will be there - supporting, challenging and encouraging you.

FAQ'S

What are the benefits of Divorce Coaching?

Divorce Coaching can result in:

• Improved Confidence & Self-Esteem
• Reduced stress levels
• Better clarity and focus
• The ability to set and achieve goals
• Faster decision making

Better communication skills

By working with a Divorce Coach you will feel supported in setting and achieving your goals.

Why can’t I just talk to my friends?

Friends tend to advise you – a Divorce Coach will listen and ask you questions designed to help you find the answers within yourself.  A Divorce Coach is an unbiased, non-judgemental listener.  A coaching session is completely confidential – nothing you say will be repeated to anyone. 

What you can expect from your Divorce Coach

I will provide you with the kind of attention that you will rarely experience elsewhere.  I will challenge you, support you and help you to focus on what you really want to achieve.

I will give you my undivided attention during our sessions and reflect back to you objectively, helping you to clarify your goals.  I will encourage you to rise to challenges, overcome obstacles and get into action.

I will support you to look at all the available options and to find your own solutions. Your goals and the actions to achieve them will be designed by you, making them all the more powerful.

What your Divorce Coach expects from you

I will expect your full commitment to the coaching process.  This will mean starting the session on time, taking your own notes where appropriate and keeping to the agreements you make. It is important that you are completely open and honest with me and to the potential of Coaching.  It is essential that you are willing to take action to achieve your Goals.

What is the difference between Coaching and Counselling?

Many of the skills of coaching are comparable to those used within the field of counselling.  However, there are fundamental differences between them.

How many sessions will I need

Although a one off session can help to clarify your issues, most people find that they need at least 6 sessions to achieve an effective and lasting result.
The first session usually lasts for 1 ½ hours and subsequent sessions usually take around 45 minutes and are spaced at least a week apart.  This gives the client time to complete the actions they have agreed with the Coach.  

How much does it cost?

See Services Page

The Coach might ask you some challenging questions and will help to keep you on track and focussed towards the session goal, ‘parking’ other ideas that occur for another session.

Divorce Coaching is about developing people and empowering them to turn a dream into reality.

~Don't just GO through it, GROW through it